"The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness." 1 Samuel 26:23
I'm starting to be doubtful again with him. I've been giving him some days to think or just get his thoughts together before I get in touch with him. Last week, I had texted him just to see whats up and I never got a reply back. About a week and a half later, I received a phone call, but I was in class, so no answer there. I called him back yesterday, and left a message. But yet today at 8:15pm, still no phone call.
Is it supposed to be so hard on me emotionally and mentally? Can he not be man enough to not lead me on and just be upfront with me about everything. I have so many feelings for him and I constantly feel like I'm getting dropped but yet I keep forgiving him and letting him back into my life. Why do I let this happen so much? Let myself put my feelings out in the open and there's not a response back. Oh and if there is a response, its on his time, like weeks behind of when all this happens. Why Lord? Why is all this happening? Are you allowing this? Are you trying to teach me a lesson?
Lord, I'm so lost. I don't know which direction to go into. I feel like I'm in this all alone. Please come rescue me and my feelings. Allow me to see straight. Take all these emotions out and allow me to see and feel your mercy! Lord, I need you. Take my mind off him and allow it to go to useful things. You WILL will happen. Everything is going to work out the way you allow it to happen. You've got this messy situation. Please protect my heart and feelings if this isn't going to work out.
I've given this to you!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Searching
"The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being." Proverbs 20:27
Is God ever lost? Does he wonder what's hidden that he cannot see? No, of course not. God's vision is better than perfect. He sees inside us, past us and ahead of us. Our God is searching; his vision penetrates us.
Unlike God, we are mistresses of self-deception. Often our true motives mystify us. The good news is that God is searching out our inner beings. He is not distracted by our layers of meaning, motives or excuses. His eyes penetrate us-he knows us far better than we do. If your searching for answers, stop trying to figure things out on your own; ask God to search your heart.
Is God ever lost? Does he wonder what's hidden that he cannot see? No, of course not. God's vision is better than perfect. He sees inside us, past us and ahead of us. Our God is searching; his vision penetrates us.
Unlike God, we are mistresses of self-deception. Often our true motives mystify us. The good news is that God is searching out our inner beings. He is not distracted by our layers of meaning, motives or excuses. His eyes penetrate us-he knows us far better than we do. If your searching for answers, stop trying to figure things out on your own; ask God to search your heart.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Grace and Love
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Without even realizing it, many of us are trying to win God's favor. This world has reinforced for us time and time again that we have to do something in order to be loved. So we try to "be a good girl" and do things that will make God happier with us-working tirelessly to try to prove that we're worthy of him.
But the fact is that we're not worthy of him and will never be. The gospel turns this world's logic on its head. The Good News of Jesus Christ is that he offers free, undeserved, unconditional, eternal love and grace to any sin-stained, hopeless, ragamuffin person who turns to him. Because of that, you can...
Revel in his Grace. This is the greatest gift in the universe; enjoy it. Live like you're free because you are (see Ephesians 2:4-5).
Relax and rest in the only unconditional love available. Human love always has limits. God's love has NO limits. Stop trying to earn or win his love. Discard that performance-based faith. Let go and fall back into his safe and loving arms. You are accepted and deeply loved.
Remember that God's love for you has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you. It's not because of your good behavior that he saved you (see Romans 5:6-8). He saved you because of him, because he loved you, not because of you or something you did to earn it. His very personal love for you depends on him, not you-and he never changes.
Without even realizing it, many of us are trying to win God's favor. This world has reinforced for us time and time again that we have to do something in order to be loved. So we try to "be a good girl" and do things that will make God happier with us-working tirelessly to try to prove that we're worthy of him.
But the fact is that we're not worthy of him and will never be. The gospel turns this world's logic on its head. The Good News of Jesus Christ is that he offers free, undeserved, unconditional, eternal love and grace to any sin-stained, hopeless, ragamuffin person who turns to him. Because of that, you can...
Revel in his Grace. This is the greatest gift in the universe; enjoy it. Live like you're free because you are (see Ephesians 2:4-5).
Relax and rest in the only unconditional love available. Human love always has limits. God's love has NO limits. Stop trying to earn or win his love. Discard that performance-based faith. Let go and fall back into his safe and loving arms. You are accepted and deeply loved.
Remember that God's love for you has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you. It's not because of your good behavior that he saved you (see Romans 5:6-8). He saved you because of him, because he loved you, not because of you or something you did to earn it. His very personal love for you depends on him, not you-and he never changes.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Dating
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." ~Song of Songs 3:5
Within each of us is a desire to be known and loved. Maybe that's why we take to heart the words of Genesis 2:18, "It's not good...to be alone." Being alone can be very hard, and it's natural to want a relationship so we have companionship. The danger comes when our desire to escape being alone turns into an expectation or agenda. You can be easily disappointed if God doesn't seem to follow your plans.
The world may tell you that you're somehow incomplete if you're single, especially if you're not in a romantic relationship at all. God tells you you're complete if you have HIM. You may know that intellectually, but how do you truly accept that and live as if you're whole, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship?
1) Remember that not all relationships are blissful-and some are downright painful. Singleness isn't just an escape route from a bad relationship or a waiting period between relationships. As many women would attest, it's better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.
2) Consider some of the benefits of being single. Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 and ask God to show you what's good about your station in life.
3) As the old saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Explore whats good about your side of the fence. Contentment is the way to start exploring your territory. As Paul says, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether leiving in plenty or in want (Phillipians 4:12). He might have added "whether single or married!"
4) Remind yourself of the truth about God's love for you. As Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." In other words, if you're his child, he wont withhold anything from you that you need.
-------------------------------
Women spend alot of time, energy and money trying to make a relationship happen. We agonize over the perfect outfit that will get his attention. We spend hours talking with our girlfriends, analyzing his every word and action and spinning ideas for how to keep the relationship going. We flirt, tease, and manipulate in order to catch his interest. We're afraid we might miss him if we're not paying attention. Are we going about this all wrong? God tells us to quit trying so hard and wait for God to stir the waters of love at the right time and in the right place.
Within each of us is a desire to be known and loved. Maybe that's why we take to heart the words of Genesis 2:18, "It's not good...to be alone." Being alone can be very hard, and it's natural to want a relationship so we have companionship. The danger comes when our desire to escape being alone turns into an expectation or agenda. You can be easily disappointed if God doesn't seem to follow your plans.
The world may tell you that you're somehow incomplete if you're single, especially if you're not in a romantic relationship at all. God tells you you're complete if you have HIM. You may know that intellectually, but how do you truly accept that and live as if you're whole, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship?
1) Remember that not all relationships are blissful-and some are downright painful. Singleness isn't just an escape route from a bad relationship or a waiting period between relationships. As many women would attest, it's better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.
2) Consider some of the benefits of being single. Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 and ask God to show you what's good about your station in life.
3) As the old saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Explore whats good about your side of the fence. Contentment is the way to start exploring your territory. As Paul says, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether leiving in plenty or in want (Phillipians 4:12). He might have added "whether single or married!"
4) Remind yourself of the truth about God's love for you. As Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." In other words, if you're his child, he wont withhold anything from you that you need.
-------------------------------
Women spend alot of time, energy and money trying to make a relationship happen. We agonize over the perfect outfit that will get his attention. We spend hours talking with our girlfriends, analyzing his every word and action and spinning ideas for how to keep the relationship going. We flirt, tease, and manipulate in order to catch his interest. We're afraid we might miss him if we're not paying attention. Are we going about this all wrong? God tells us to quit trying so hard and wait for God to stir the waters of love at the right time and in the right place.
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