Going in All Directions

"The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness." 1 Samuel 26:23

I'm starting to be doubtful again with him. I've been giving him some days to think or just get his thoughts together before I get in touch with him. Last week, I had texted him just to see whats up and I never got a reply back. About a week and a half later, I received a phone call, but I was in class, so no answer there. I called him back yesterday, and left a message. But yet today at 8:15pm, still no phone call.

Is it supposed to be so hard on me emotionally and mentally? Can he not be man enough to not lead me on and just be upfront with me about everything. I have so many feelings for him and I constantly feel like I'm getting dropped but yet I keep forgiving him and letting him back into my life. Why do I let this happen so much? Let myself put my feelings out in the open and there's not a response back. Oh and if there is a response, its on his time, like weeks behind of when all this happens. Why Lord? Why is all this happening? Are you allowing this? Are you trying to teach me a lesson?

Lord, I'm so lost. I don't know which direction to go into. I feel like I'm in this all alone. Please come rescue me and my feelings. Allow me to see straight. Take all these emotions out and allow me to see and feel your mercy! Lord, I need you. Take my mind off him and allow it to go to useful things. You WILL will happen. Everything is going to work out the way you allow it to happen. You've got this messy situation. Please protect my heart and feelings if this isn't going to work out.

I've given this to you!